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This is a column I must write as an assignment in my on-going therapy
and psychiatric treatment because I choose to watch this show.
Here's my take on the cast of characters on
Daze:
John
- gorgeous, hot, sexy .... In love with every woman he knows, and loves lots and lots of sex. Married to Marlena. However, did I mention that he likes to have lots and lots of sex?
Marlena - In love and married to John. Needs mothering lessons (or some different children). Psychiatrist on staff at University Hospital, but doesn't seem to have any patients.
Roman
- trying to perfect his English diction but fails miserably. Supposedly a Salem cop, but the last time he solved a case was when Lincoln was president.
Billie - praise the lord - she went to Paris!
Hope
- temporarily has turned into a variety of characters, mainly "Gina" - different people, but same bra size.
Victor - Recuperating from years in a nursing home while being kept on medication. Recently returned to Salem - (hope he brought his meds with him.)
Laura
- Presently under psychiatric evaluation. Has a strange way of gasping in between every word she says. Also a psychiatrist at Salem University, but her only patient is herself.
Abraham - Embarrassed about heading the Salem Police Dept., better known as "Daffy and the Dizzy Ducks." Job withstanding, one of the more "normal" characters in Salem, USA. Married to ...
Lexie
- sweet and loving, but has the unfortunate position of being Stefano's daughter. Not a good thing - 2 of her siblings are now dead, a third is in jail, and the only other one is named "Elvis".
Mickey - Salem lawyer who couldn't win a case to save his life.
Celeste - "It's just a feeling, dahling." Has some sort of psychic powers. But they don't work any
more. Wears clothes so tight she needs to check into University Hospital for oxygen daily. Loves exposing her breasts (you would too after spending that much money on them.)
Carrie & Mike - Rode off on a horse into the sunset. (Hey, it's better than Salem.)
Austin - Mr. DUH himself. I equate him to a CHIA PET. On the letter "T" as he learns the alphabet.
Sami
- Tough cookie. Trying to get some respect, but only gets in trouble. Was gonna marry Franco, but killed him instead. Or so she thought. Also in love with Austin but can't remember why.
Lucas
- Get out the Pepto Bismal if you're gonna watch this guy.
Nicole - Ohmegosh - get your house cleaned while this one is on. You won't miss a thing.
Stefano - Strangely accented guy. Drinks some icky yellow stuff. Is alive only to put chips in peoples' heads or teeth. Is either biting his knuckles or laughing about the whole thing. Busy programming everyone to be his "pawn".
Bo -
Used to be quite a rogue. In love with Hope. Wouldn't know the truth if it bit him in his tush. Can't figure out what he's got (besides the tush).
Vivian Dresses up as things like French Fries. Has the hots for Stefano. John's only relative.
Ivan
- Hey - where'd he go??
Kate
- Loves her kids, but has a strange way of showing it. Actually a lousy mother. Lots of past spicy secrets presently known by the resident witch, Sami. Wants to marry Victor, but has the hots for Nikolas.
Eric
- Sami's twin brother. A little boring so far - but kind of cute. Slept with Nicole, but dating Greta.
Greta
Princess Gina's daughter. The resident virgin. Lived in a swamp with the animals for years, which is why she fits in so well in Salem.
Nikolas
Very good looking and sexy. Strangely attracted to Kate.
Craig and Nancy Wesley - Latest couple to hit Salem. Craig is a doctor at University Hospital; Nancy is - hmmmm, not really sure. The couple is a little strange - in other words, they fit right in.
Alice
Horton - The Queen Mum.
