Scattered

Sitting in my office
Conversations surround me
My mind is numb
No words reach me

Tears filled my morning
Coming from the depths
Once more to overwhelm me
Now I am numb

Scattered
I am so scattered
There is no focus
I cannot focus

I long to sit
In a quiet place
And think about Chris
And write about Chris
And dream about Chris

As if by doing so
I could conjure him
Out of the air

I can hear his laughter
Like music to my ears
God, how I miss it!

Never knew. I never knew!
How could any of us know?!
And now...

There is this unending
Silence
Silence where Chris
Should be

So tired today
Scattered like leaves
In a strong wind

Can’t seem to
Gather myself up
Put on the mask
Go on with “life”

Can’t seem to
Muster the energy
today

luvu Chris
aunt Karen
August 7, 2006