Your chance to sound off about the articles in The Hittman Chronicle.
Please take a moment to spout off - both complements and criticisms are appreciated.
People tend to browse this site randomly and in no particular order, so we often get new letters about old articles. They're published more or less in the order they arrive, so the sloppiness isn't accidental, it's intentional.
This page was last updated on March 17. If you think it's overdue for an update, write a letter so we've got something new to post.
The Dumbest Letter So Far This arrived as an empty message, with all the text jammed into the subject header.
From: <withheld>
To: hittman@bigfoot.com
Subject: Nice site but I will not be back due to your smokers right link due to the fact I am highly alergic (sic) to tobaco (sic) smokeI see from your address that you're writing from Florida. I'm located in upstate NY. You must be really allergic if it bothers you from 1200 miles away. And really, really allergic to have such a reaction to a link.
And The First Runner Up for Dumbest Letter So Far
(Referring to the "Smokers World" web ring on the home page)
From:<withheld>@aol.com
Subject: Re: http://home.nycap.rr.com/hittman/Wait, wait, this is priceless....you've gotta be kiddding! (sic) A webring of smokers?? Okay, now that weve (sic) got the majority of dumbasses all in one room, what the hell do we do with 'em?...This is killin' me.....hehehe...
Yeah, you're right. Smokers are such stupid people. People like Alexander Graham Bell, Mark Twain, Neils Bohr, John Cheever, Albert Einstein, Arthur Miller, Charlie Mingus, Fran Lebowitz, Ernest Hemingway, Groucho Marx, W.C. Fields, Sir Isaac Newton, P. J. O'Rourke, A.A Milne, Alfred Lord Tennyson, H.L.Mencken, David Bowie, James Thurber, Robert Oppenheimer, Gen. George Patton, Winston Churchill, Sigmund Freud and Thomas Edison, to name a few.
Meanwhile, you're posting from an AOL address.
I've just read your article about the recording industry and their war against "pirating" of music. I have one quibble with it: You uncritically accept their estimates of "lost sales," which are formed on a basis that ensures that the numbers are complete and total bullshit.
What they do is estimate (translation, "take a wild-assed guess") how many "illegal" copies of songs are made in a given year. Then they multiply that by the retail cost of the albums containing those songs.
This is patently absurd, as it rests on the assumption that every single one of those copies represents a lost sale. (The software industry does the same thing, BTW.)
I've downloaded a few MP3 files myself. Let me pick just one example: I have a copy of "Cruel Summer" by Bananarama. It would cost me $18 (or whatever) to get a copy of this on CD, so the recording industry "lost" $18, right? If there were the slightest chance whatsoever that I would ever go to the trouble of buying such a CD, they'd have a point. Of course, there is no such chance, so the point is moot. I like the song well enough; it's the kind of thing for which I turn up the radio when it comes on. But I don't care to own it.
Most of my MP3 files fall into this category. Some others are tracks from CD's I already own. I downloaded them because I like having them here on the PC, available to play while I'm working. (Or goofing off.)
Yet others are tracks from CD's that are just completely out of print. (I got a lot of great old Tom Lehrer stuff that way. It simply can't be had any other way.) I don't maintain that they're ever going to get revenue from the presence of this file on my system. I simply point out that they are lying (and I'm sure you're as SHOCKED as I am!) when they make up these numbers.
Yeah, MP3 files probably represent some short-term lost revenue. It may or may not be offset by the effects you describe in your article; I don't know. I know that their assumptions and the accompanying PR is designed more to influence public policy in their favor than to illuminate the facts of the situation.
jd
I'm always critical of anyone's numbers, and agree that the recording industry is just making a wild-assed guess. Their guess comes out to about a buck a person in the US, so it's not as unreasonable as it could be. But you're right, it's still just a guess, and a guess by a very self serving industry at that.
It's always good to hear from another Tom Lehrer fan. No one ever came close to his wit and style. He retired from comedy music early, but he retired undefeated.
I'm not sure the short term revenue loss will be offset either. It's just a wild-assed guess.
The Diallo Trial I went to the police academy. We were taught to shoot till the subject dropped their weapon or was dead. The standard training course taught to empty the weapon into the subject. This was a wheel gun though, six weak shots to stop someone. Now with the big mag 9mm's and 45's that's a lot of lead.
David
I have to say that I disagree intensely with your general thesis in "The Verdict". Despite the prosecution’s attempt to portray the neighborhood where Diallo was shot as a place where you’ll meet Wally and The Beave coming down the street, we’re talking about an area in the Bronx where drug dealers will fire off an entire clip just to let you know they’re pissed at somebody (and the somebody need not be present). Cops in New York can be shot for no rational reason. A number of years ago, a rookie cop named Eddie Byrne was murdered while sitting in a marked patrol car just because some local BMF thought that he had been 'dissed' several days earlier. In New York, a member of a much hated anti-crime squad who isn't ready to defend himself at every moment probably thinks that his family members have always wanted an up-close look at a police funeral.
The police angle aside (and even knowing that ‘blaming the victim’ is a capital crime in this day and age), anyone who looks at four armed men (whether they’re police officers, muggers, or moonlighting circus clowns) and reaches into his coat while they’re telling him to put his hands up is setting himself up for a lot of unpleasantness. Do I regret the death of Diallo? Of course I do. The same goes for my feelings for his family. Three years ago, I came as close as you can get to losing a child without scheduling a funeral, and I still can't fully conceive of how they must feel. I am, however, satisfied with the verdict.
The cops fired in what they thought was a life-threatening circumstance. In a situation where ricocheting slugs left them with the feeling that there was return fire, they kept shooting until the target went down. The coroner’s testimony (in which he stated as a fact that Diallo fell after the first bullet hit him) was extremely flawed. The defense’s rebuttal witness is an internationally known expert on the subject of post-mortem examination of gunshot wounds, and he trashed the theories and conclusions of the coroner - most especially the conclusion that Diallo fell early on.
What happened that night was tragic. A man who ought to be alive today is not, due to a fatal mixture of the wrong time, the wrong place, nervous cops, and inexplicable behavior on the part of the victim. But your conclusion that something criminal happened that requires the jailing of men doing a hard job to the best of their ability requires a leap of logic that I'm not willing to take with you.
Best,
Rich
If everyone agreed with me the world would be a much duller place (especially for me) and I wouldn't have any reason to write The Hittman Chronicle.
Thanks for the long and thoughtful reply.
Congratulations, Hittman! After several articles in a row from which you built up experience, you have now returned with wit, humor, and facts but without the slanted, half-truth ranting which you so much deride.
The chart is great!
You may remember a pro-abortion bumper sticker that has been and still is somewhat around. It stated: "Keep your laws off my body." Isn't it amazing that nannies will not accept government telling them what to do, but they just salivate to have government tell non-nannies what to do?!? I agree with your assessment: New Racists.
Brent N. Winkelman
Very thought provoking.
I think you're on to something. Did you know that almost everyone I've talked to who has worked at an abortion clinic has a story to tell about someone (female) who they have seen picketing out front come in at one point for an abortion? Sanctity of life, unless it's inconvenient to them, I guess.
If you update these every month, I'll have to bookmark your site.
--Eva Whitley
I try to write an article a week, but it usually works out to about three per month, so visiting once a month would be about right.
What a load of crap, you can say all you like but if anyone doesn't agree with you well that's something else. Look at all the facts, and wake up, better still keep your heads in the sand.
Gee it's good to be a non nicotine junkie, now scurry away like a cockroach to get your nico fix.
By the way why drop the ler from your surname, that would really take the cake and it sure would make sense why you have that site. bye bye dropkick.
-joe biki
Thanks, Joe, for proving my point so well.
By the way, I only have one head.
The Only Way to Curb Teen Smoking
Finally.. the voice of intelligence.
I can't agree with you more that its not ignorance of the risks involved with smoking that causes kids to smoke.. it's the glamor of going against the grain of what society and authority figures frown upon. I think the media lies profusely about the statistics of teen smokers and marijuana junkies. I would say a good 80-85% of high school students have experimented with smoking cigarettes and/or marijuana at one time. Making it seem like less people smoke up only encourages kids to do it more since they are 'not conforming' to the norm. Most kids with smoking parents don't smoke because they think its a smelly and disgusting habit.
On the drive home today, I heard another self proclaimed expert in drug counseling encouraging parents to discourage children verbally from taking drugs. This is the wrong approach. I think only you and a minority of enlightened elders understands the real adversary here... popularity.
Thanks for taking the time to listen! Have a great day.
Julia
D.A.R.E. Dave's Absolutely Realistic Education Hi
Haven't read through all of the related links on your page yet; but did grab a larger version of your "dare-parent.gif" to crank out a T-shirt for my nephew, who teaches middle school in Ohio.
After he opens it on Christmas, I'll ask him if his situation is the same as it is here in Saranac Lake -- "Graduation" in late Spring of 6th grade; & totally uncool to wear the D.A.R.E. T-shirt to school a few months later in 7th grade. I'd never gotten an explanation from my kids as to why that was -- possibly because it makes them look like elementary school kids? (elementary & middle schools share the same facility here.) I haven't done a scientific survey, but will go out on a limb & agree that the D.A.R.E program ain't what it's cracked up to be (pun intended)
-Steve
Roadrunner - We Suck Faster
This is such a good line, I had to share it.
A customer of RR was posting a complaint on the tech group about how he can't upload worth crap and was looking for a solution. My answer: You're more likely to have a winning lottery ticket struck by lightening than to have your problem solved by RR. Anyway, I thought that was pretty good.
Jeff
It was better than pretty good. It was better than any of my lines in the original article. I hate you.
As a former RR user (since RR became RR) I can only agree with you. I now live in Florida and have an ADSL. Fast, reliable, good tech support. Unfortunately, RoadRunner is due here sometime in the "near" future. Everyone I talk to says it will be better than ADSL. I think not. If I ever move back to Ohio I will get RR again (I do like the speed, when it's working), but my bitching about down time will now include a comparison to ADSL. It's too bad we are all hooked on "speed." Maybe, in our wildest dreams, Road Runner will some day get hooked on us.
Tek
Interesting page and argument. However, one line stands out like a sore thumb:
"His father's wishes are not as important as his mother's."
Should this be applied equally, in US-only cases as well? If not, why not?
Not a bonehead,
LynneI think you missed one of the most important points of the article, that this is a unique situation, and should be handled as such.
I feel so strongly about this (specific) issue I overused the word "bonehead." I'm almost tempted to go back and edit it, but I avoid doing that. I'll just leave it as is and try to be more creative next time.
After reading some of the trash posted about this in various newsgroups, I was beginning to wonder whether anyone out there thought the boy's mother's intentions counted for anything. I got an e-mail, which I ignored, from some fool ranting about the father's parental rights, as if the father's preferences could actually be determined once Fidel got involved. Your article was excellent!
Sincerely, Joe H. Bennett, Jr.
Fathers are so routinely screwed in family court their reaction, and sometimes overreaction, to anything interfering with fathers rights is understandable. But this is a unique case, and you bring up a very good point about determining the fathers preferences. I have no idea if the family courts in Cuba are as screwed up as they are over here, but considering their location...
What if the mother had survived? If she had, the media would have ignored the story. It would have just been another Cuban escaping to the US, a tale of risk and bravery too dull for the media. It's not news - news is something that doesn't happen every day.
It appears that your words do, in fact, impact our culture at large. Not one week after you questioned the future of the relationship between the robust Rosie O'Donnell and the free-spirited corporate entity Kmart, did they part ways. Nevermore shall we hear Rosie crooning "The Blue Light that Shines in the Night!" at Christmastime.
I fear the worst is upon us.
Absalom!
Don Howe
What I find most annoying is the spin they're not putting on this. When Fuzzy Zoller made his racist comments about Tiger Woods, K-Mart canned him and condemned him with sternly worded press releases within 24 hours. I admired them for that. But they're letting Rosie off the hook as gently as possible. (Rosie on a hook - now there's a pleasant graphic image.) Wimps.
If my words do have that much of an impact, and really make things happen in the real world, you have good reason to be afraid. On the other hand, it's great news for me. My next article will be about how I won the lottery the day before the Victoria Secret models stopped by. (Or maybe you shouldn't be afraid - I'd invite you to the party. No need to bring beer, they brought a keg of Bass with them.)
Hi, Dave ! Or should I greet you with a simple "DAAAAVEE !" in flashing lights and twinkles ? Thank God I got to read your site ! I've been pissed at that porker Rosie for months, but have not *once* found so much as one negative electron raised against her and her whacko "beliefs". I loved it ! Thanks so much for posting the site and the links. You made my day, Dave.
K-mart did drop Her Holiness - or, rather, did not renew her contract when it ends this year - by mutual assent. Wonder if it was because they didn't bow to her whims. Y'see, our local one sells guns. Yup. Bullets too. So that Christmas shopping with Penny Marshall ad that seems to have only run once that I saw (and, again, thank God for that !) will be it. Wonder if they'll still sell her Barbie-slim fashion doll. Now *there's* some false advertising!
Dunno if you read about this one ( Infobeat offers a free news and entertainment e-mail service and they don't seem to like her a lot either) but it seems our pal (choke) Rosie wasn't pleased with her appearance on Celebrity Jeopardy...
"Speaking of stinks, Rosie O'Donnell is claiming her appearance on last month's "Celebrity Jeopardy!" wasn't fair. First, the questions were too hard; and second, they didn't have her favorite topic: Broadway Musicals. And she also says the producers cut her buzzer off so the other contestants could buzz in. No word on how she did, but sounds like a case of sour grapes to us. (Examiner) "
Is it just me, or does it sound like Princess Porcine is having a hissy fit whenever things just don't go her way ? The way I look at it, she's a single woman who got to adopt a couple of infants just because she's supposedly a star. Try to adopt a baby as an everyday single woman, and see how far the system works for you. It doesn't. Count your blessings, Rosie, or you won't have them (or an audience) for very long. God, I get so tired of celebrities being mistaken for people who actually have something of value to say ! She's a has-been comedy hack who likes the taste of power that she somehow has over her rather simple-minded audience. You wanna make changes, Rosie-baby, put that mike down on yer "This Ad Space For Rent" desk of yours, pry yer ass outta those cushy Broadway seats and bust yer ass out on the pavement with the rest of the loonies out in front of the White House. I understand the current inhabitant has a thing for zaftig women...
God save us all from spoiled celebrities... and thanks again for your site.
Mrs. Dorrie J.
P.S. - I hate that Pepsi brat so much, I switched to generic sodas. If a restaurant doesn't sell your particular soda, aping a bad gangster voice doesn't obligate anybody to get it for you. Leave or be thirsty, bratling. I'd have to submit the kid to psychological testing and probable drug therapy if a lousy soda choice causes her to erupt into multiple personalities. What a ridiculous ad. Only good thing is I haven't seen the deranged darling on T-shirts. Although a doll would make good crossbow target practice...
PSS - You didn't miss much on "The Story of Us". Eric Clapton publicly apologized for his music being a part of that film. Ouch. Hollywierd must be fulla meatheads these days.
Risky Business Dave,
I enjoyed your good motorcycle page.
The first job I had out of college was doing research for This Hour Has Seven Days, the Canadian news program on which things like the US 60 Minutes and such are modeled. (Morley Safer of Sixty Minutes is Canadian, and was one of our staff correspondents. He did wonderful things. Like a documentary on China during some of the worst of the Maoist shit. He just loaded up a crew and a ton of film and took the train up to the border from the New Territories in Hong Kong. They asked where his papers were, and he said "I'm just here to do the documentary." So they asked him where his papers were, and he said "I don't know anything about any papers, but surely they must have told you that I'm here to do the documentary." They let him through, and he ran that shtick all over the country...)
So anyway at one point I lived in this police headquarters for about a week on Highway 401, which at that time was the huge Toronto bypass, a humungous 8 lanes in places. Today it is an artery through roughly the middle of Toronto, and "the basketweave" is something like 38 lanes in places. We were trying to make "The Biography of A Highway." It's still a great idea for a show, but I don't know that anybody has ever done it well; we couldn't pull it off. The expense would be incredible, and you would basically have to be more skilled at patrolling than the cops are, and that generally ain't gonna happen.
So anyway I'm getting to know these cycle cops, and one of them tells me the ugly story. Turns out he's investigated something like eight biker deaths in the last year. In every case, without exception, the motorist was at fault. In the most charitable interpretation of a case motorists "didn't see" the biker. More often, he thought, people's brains turned on a little "kill the biker" switch. Cop deaths on bikes, he pointed out, were zero, despite long annual hours on the road. Why? Because drivers can see a cop a million yards away, was his theory.
A few years later I put this story to a friend in the Japanese Ministry of Justice, and he said Yes, in Japan motorcyclists were welcome, or even encouraged, to wear cyclewear that made them look like cops, sky blue coveralls with brilliant day-glo diagonal sashes. They figured it added to the apparent number of cops keeping traffic under discipline, and also reduced the number of bikers killed by drivers who subliminally thought them fair game.
Cheers,
-dlj.
Smokers More Honest, Better at Math than Non-Smokers This has to be one of the greatest pieces I have ever read. And I so agree with you. Both my husband and I smoke and have for eons - and have a great sex life. As to impotence. Well, we have a 15 month old daughter and she was conceived because of one night of "unprotected" enjoyment. BTW at the time of her conception I was 37 and my husband was 42.
Keep up the good work.
Gabz
P.S. feel free to use my comments as to how impotent male smokers really are.
Here's another way to look at the statistics: If, indeed, non-smokers have sex 12 times a week, and it takes them an average of 2.6 years to conceive, then, statistically, it takes an average of 1622.4 "attempts" for a non-smoker's conception to occur. In contrast, at 6 times a week and 3 years, it takes an average of only 936 "attempts" for a smoker's conception to occur.
I fail to see how these facts would lead to the conclusion that cigarettes "impair" the production of sperm. If anything, a conclusion could be drawn that, on average, smokers are 73% MORE potent than non-smokers, based on the number of attempts required.
I get an almost fiendish pleasure out of using their own numbers against them, albeit in a way that would make anybody who can even spell "scientific" cringe.
Jim Hewitt
Stateline, NV
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