The Hittman Chronicle

Table Of Contents

Recent Articles

The Little Blue Pill Twit Of The Month
Finally, a way to rid Usenet of those nasty troll infestations
The Little Blue Pill Absolute Non-scents
Something stinks in Halifax
The Little Blue Pill Corn Maquechoux
How to get your kids to eat vegetables by cooking them in butter and heavy cream
The Little Blue Pill Taking a Napster
How to loose 300,000 fans in an instant
The Little Blue Pill Lightning Strikes
What, me worry?
The Little Blue Pill FrankenFUD
GM food? Relax, you're soaking in it!
The Little Blue Pill Things you Should Know, Volume III
We continue our commitment to make you even smarter
The Little Blue Pill Still Zevon, After All These Years
He's is still excitable
The Little Blue Pill Breaking Records
Pity the poor, poor record companies

Winter 1999-2000

The Little Blue Pill The Diallo Trial
A series of five articles featuring eyewitness reports of the events outside the courtroom, all told in the unmistakable Hittman style.
Jury Selection | The Trial Begins | The Prosecution Rests
The Defense Begins | The Verdict
The Little Blue Pill The New Racists
Don't you want somebody to hate. Don't you need somebody to hate....
The Little Blue Pill Skin Deep
Presidential predictions based on the way Americans really vote.
The Little Blue Pill Time for a Tea Party
Cheating on Tobacco Taxes - A How-To Manual
The Little Blue Pill So Long, Charlie
Knowing when to quit is the final skill an artist needs to master.
The Little Blue Pill Hope Floats
What do we do with a dunked kid sailor?
The Little Blue Pill Optional Rules
What if we played Monopoly by Judge Johnson's rules?
The Little Blue Pill Personal Boycotts
How to save money by refusing to shop anywhere.
The Little Blue Pill Risky Business
There's nothing like a motorcycle ride to make you feel alive. Or so I'm told.

Fall, 1999

The Little Blue Pill I Am The Eggman
How does it feel to be, one of the beautiful, zygotes?
The Little Blue Pill Reform School
Jesse Ventura could be president, as long as he doesn't learn to keep his mouth shut.
The Little Blue Pill New Study Proves Smokers more Honest, Better at Math than Non-Smokers.
Why should Nannies be the only ones who get to spew junk science?
The Little Blue Pill D.A.R.E - Dave's Absolutely Realistic Education
D.A.R.E. doesn't work. Here's a program that does.
The Little Blue Pill Greetings from Kansas
Kansas boldly marches toward the 19th century.
The Little Blue Pill Pick Your Brain
In today's legal climate nothing is more profitable than stupidity.
The Little Blue Pill Flush Twice
Congress may give us permission to install working toilets again, but its too late to save my kitchen ceiling.
The Little Blue Pill Not the End of The World
Y2K won't result in any large disasters. Too bad.

Summer, 1999

The Little Blue Pill The Frog and Peach
Sometimes the best choice is not to choose at all.
The Little Blue Pill Good for Your Constitution
A flag burning amendment that should satisfy everyone.
The Little Blue Pill Please Bring Me a Flaming Phonebook.
Celebrate the (strange) moments of your life.
The Little Blue Pill Things You Should Know, Volume Two.
Why settle for a merely educating your brain when you can have it Smartenized®?
The Little Blue Pill 7 Words You Can Never Say On A Canoe Trip by Dan Akers
Michigan says "The first amendment? Fuck it."
The Little Blue Pill Will PETA Have the Last Laugh?
Animal Rights Activists are usually amusing. But don't laugh too hard.

Spring, 1999

The Little Blue Pill Cops Always Have the Best Marlboros
A modest proposal for the tobacco companies
The Little Blue Pill Life is Like a Box of Lawsuits
The author of a just-too-cute poem goes on a suing spree
The Little Blue Pill Telemarketers: Make My Day
Don't let phone salesmen ruin your day - ruin theirs instead. Step by step instructions for this fun and rewarding hobby
The Little Blue Pill Dr. Dave's Useless Advice
Fact free advice on cigars
The Little Blue Pill Roadrunner - We Suck Faster
Time Warner's ISP gives their customers the bird
The Little Blue Pill The Same Old Whine
Who needs a new cause when you can repackage old ones?
The Little Blue Pill Hey, I just Flew In, And I'm Your New Senator
Before New Yorkers debate Hillary Clinton's politics we need to ask a more important question: should she be representing us?
The Little Blue Pill The Only Way to Curb Teen Smoking
Kids smoke because it's cool. The harder you fight it the cooler it seems to them. But there are ways to make them toss their smokes away in disgust…
The Little Blue Pill Microsoft's Real Sin
Microsoft isn't just being punished for being successful. It's their arrogance that pisses off Uncle Sam
The Little Blue Pill Advice to Microsoft: Move
The trial is not going well for Microsoft. But there is an option Bill hasn't considered...
The Little Blue Pill Congress Plans to Levy Cliché Tax
You can be trite and unimaginative, but it's going to cost you.
The Little Blue Pill Nine Things Worth Knowing
A public service of THMC to help you wise up.

© 1999 Dave Hitt

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