64 Ways to Piss off Cops

• When you get pulled over, say "What's wrong, ossifer, there's no blood in my alcohol?"
• When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you wanted to race.
• When he talks to you, pretend you are deaf.
• If he asks if you knew how fast you were going, say no, my speedometer only goes to......
• Touch him.
• When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you had to buy a hat.
• Ask him where he bought his cool hat.
• Refer to him by his first name.
• Pretend you are gay and ask him out.
• When he says no, cry.
• If he says yes, accuse him of sexual harassment.
• If the cop is a woman, tell her how ugly she is, but in a nice way.
• If he asks you to step out of the car, automatically throw yourself on the hood.
• When he asks you to spread them, tell him you don't go that way.
• When he puts the handcuffs on, say "Usually my dates buy me dinner first"
• Ask to be fingerprinted with candy, cause you don't like ink on your fingers.
• After you sign the ticket and give it to him, say "Oops! That's the wrong name."
• Bribe him with donuts, and when he agrees, tell him sorry, I just ate the last one.
• When he comes up to the car, say "License and registration, please" right when he says it.
• When he goes to read you your rights, sing "La La La, I can't hear you!"
• Trip and fall into him.
• Accuse him of police brutality when he pushes you away.
• Before you sign the ticket, pick your nose. You have to sign with his pen.
• Chew on the pen, nervously.
• Clean your ear with the pen.
• If it's a click pen, take it apart and play with the spring.
• Ask if he has a daughter. If he says yes, say I thought the name sounded familiar.....
• Ask him if he ever worked in a prison. If he says yes, ask him how the plumbing was.
• Act like you are retarded.
• When he's telling you what you did wrong, start repeating him, quietly.
• Or mumble to yourself.
• When he tells you to stop, say what are you talkin about, DUDE?
• Drive to Dunkin Donuts and say hmmm....only 5 of you here tonight.......
• Ask if they know how to make the donuts.
• When he comes to the car, say I have a badge just like yours!
• Ask if he watches Cops.
• Ask if ever watched Cop Rock.
• Giggle if he did.
• Talk to your hand.
• Ask if he knows somone named Rosy Palm and her Five Favorite Friends.
• Accuse him of Sexual Harassment if he does.
• When he frisks you, say You missed a spot, and grin.
• When he asks to inspect your car, say there is no alcohol in my car, sir, the last cop got it.
• Try to sell him your car.
• Ask if you can buy his car.
• If he takes you to the station, Ask to sit in front.
• Play with the siren.
• If you know him, say you had his wife for dinner.
• If you don't know him, ask if you can have his wife for dinner.
• Oops...I meant OVER for dinner.
• Ask if he ever had pu-tang.
• If he asks what it is, point at him and giggle.
• If there is someone else in the car, talk to each other in tongues.
• When he acts confused, keep talking, look at him and laugh.
• When you are in the back, touch his neck through the fencing.
• Turn your head and whistle.
• When he pulls out his night stick, say what you gonna do with that.
• If you are female, say I don't do that on the first date.
• If he sticks you in the back of the car, cower in the corner, suck your thumb, and whine.
• Ask if you can see his gun.
• When he says you aren't allowed, tell him I just wanted to see if mine was bigger.
• Stare at his lights and say "Look at the pretty colors!"
• Tell him you like men in uniform.
• Ask if you can borrow his uniform for a Halloween party.