You might be an engineer if...

• your spouse sends you an e-mail instead of calling you to dinner
• you can quote scenes from any Monty Python movie
• you want an 16X DVD-RAM for Christmas
• Dilbert is your hero
• you stare at an orange juice container because it says CONCENTRATE
• you can name 6 Star Trek episodes
• the only jokes you receive are through e-mail
• your wrist watch has more computing power than a 486DX-50
• your idea of good interpersonal communication means getting the decimal point in the right place
• you look forward to Christmas only to put together the kid's toys
• you use a CAD package to design your son's Pine Wood Derby car
• you have used coat hangers and duct tape for something other than hanging coats and taping ducts
• at Christmas, it goes without saying that you will be the one to find the burnt-out bulb in the string.
• you window shop at Radio Shack
• your ideal evening consists of fast-forwarding through the latest sci-fi movie looking for technical inaccuracies
• you have "Dilbert" comics displayed anywhere in your work area
• you carry on a one-hour debate over the expected results of a test that actually takes five minutes to run
• you are convinced you can build a phazer out of your garage door opener and your camera's flash attachment
• you don't even know where the cover to your personal computer is
• you have modified your can-opener to be microprocessor driven
• you know the direction the water swirls when you flush
• you own "Official Star Trek" anything
• you have ever taken the back off you TV just to see what's inside
• a team of you and your co-workers have set out to modify the antenna on the radio in your work area for better reception
• you thought the concoction ET used to phone home was stupid
• you ever burned down the gymnasium with your Science Fair project
• you are currently gathering the components to build your own nuclear reactor
• you own one or more white short-sleeve dress shirts
• you have never backed-up your hard drive
• you are aware that computers are actually only good for playing games, but are afraid to say it out loud
• you truly believe aliens are living among us
• you have ever saved the power cord from a broken appliance
• you have ever purchased an electronic appliance "as-is"
• you see a good design and still have to change it
• the salespeople at Circuit City can't answer any of your questions
• you still own a slide rule and you know how to work it
• the thought that a CD could refer to finance or music never enters your mind
• you own a set of itty-bitty screw drivers, but you don't remember where they are
• you rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile tires
• you have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you own turns bread into charcoal
• you have more toys than your kids
• you need a checklist to turn on the TV
• you have introduced your kids by the wrong name
• your wife thinks your taste in ties is bizarre
• you have a habit of destroying things in order to see how they work
• your I.Q. number is bigger than your weight
• the microphone or visual aids at a meeting don't work and you rush up to the front to fix it
• you can remember 7 computer passwords but not your anniversary
• you have memorized the program schedule for the Discovery channel and have seen most of the shows already
• you have ever owned a calculator with no equal key and know what RPN stands for
• your father sat 2 inches in front of your family's first color TV with a magnifying lens to see how they made the colors, and you grew up thinking that was normal.
• you know how to take the cover off of your computer, and what size screw driver to use
• you can type 70 words a minute but can't read your own handwriting
• people groan at the part when you pick out the music
• you can't remember where you parked your car for the 3rd time this week
• people hound you for pocket protectors at Halloween time
• you did the sound system for your senior prom
• your checkbook always balances
• your girlfriend says the way you dress is no reflection on her
• your wristwatch has more buttons than a telephone
• you have more friends on the Internet than in real life
• you thought the real heroes of "Apollo 13" were the mission controllers
• you think your computer looks better without the cover
• you think that when people around you yawn, it's because they didn't get enough sleep
• your wife hasn't the foggiest idea what you do at work
• you spend more on your home computer than your car
• you know what you've ever tried to repair a $5.00 radio
• you have a neatly sorted collection of old bolts and nuts in your garage
• your favorite part of the 6 o'clock news is comparing their latest satellite weather picture with yours
• your three year old son asks why the sky is blue and you try to explain atmospheric absorption theory
• your computer costs more than your car
• your 4 basic food groups are: 1. Caffeine 2. Fat 3. Sugar 4. Chocolate