[Taken from the actual turn of Rufus Stonefist. This turn was processed on MAY 2 at 10:30 AM]

On the day you made camp, you were quietly minding your own business admiring your ill-gotten wealth, knowledge and supplies. You figure that any Ruk with a conscience would have told the Jossmen what was up but you were never one of THOSE kind of Ruk. As you stooped to pick up a piece of bird crap you thought was a bit coin, you suddenly saw four ENORMOUS feet in front of you. You looked up to see two very large, very ugly Bridge Trolls standing in front of you. One looks suspiciously like a Monger and one looks suspiciously like a Viper and both look seriously pissed off. One of them hands you a piece of paper and says, 'Read it, you twit.' So you begin to read:

To Whom It May Concern: The Jossman Trade Union has recently filed a formal complaint against you regarding failure to pay for goods at various Far Exoticas. We have researched this matter carefully and have ruled entirely in their favor. As a result, they have filed a claim requesting the return of all goods and materials along with all cash obtained during these transactions. We at the Jossmen Imperial Bank have, therefore, terminated any accounts you may have had with us. All oculars in those accounts are hereby forfeited. In addition, we have selected Scruncher and Squeezer to collect on all other aspects of the debt. If you would be so kind as to utter the following words (and speak clearly): 'Okay, boys, go to work.' Sincerely, Eggstran Digmak, Chief Banking Inspector.

With that, you look up, and like a good little Ruk, say 'Okay, boys, go to work' and, indeed, the boys go to work. The ugly one grabs you by your haversuit and demands you hand over all your oculars. You refuse and get a rock-hard fist to the gut. [-12 Health.] The scaly once then says, 'Hey, the blighter looks like one of those dragon-lovers or something. I hates dragons...my poor old Mum was killed by one...ate nothing but her head. I'm gonna keep all this stuff for myself.' The ugly one says, 'Crikey! Look at all them leaves! Ya's hafta be some sort of plant-lover to get that many by an honest fashion. Heck, me Mum could make a good load of Plodder-Gut Stew with this. I'm keeping these.' When you reach out to stop them, you receive a good smack in the face. [-23 Health.] Finally, as they seem about to finish pilfering your items, one looks at your armor and weaponry and gives you a toothless smile. You obligingly hand over what he wants. He then smacks you in the gut for being such a wus. [-24 Health.] They then move along lugging all your best stuff. The rest of your camp just pretty much sucked.