Tom Pender contributed this to the Yahoo chat site and it looks worth adding to the site.  How to Simulate Shipboard Life – US Navy style… 1.    Sleep on the shelf in your closet. 2.    Replace the closet door with a curtain. 3.    Six hours after you go to sleep, have your wife whip open the   curtain, shine             a flashlight in your eyes, and mumble "Sorry, wrong rack." 4.    Renovate your bathroom. Build a wall across the middle of your bathtub and           move the shower head down to chest level. 5.    When you take showers, make sure you shut off the water while soaping. 6.    Every time there is a thunderstorm, go sit in a wobbly rocking chair and rock           as  hard as you can until you're nauseous. 7.    Put lube oil in your humidifier instead of water and set it to "High." (For that         shipboard smell) 8.    Don't watch TV except movies in the middle of the night. Have your family       vote on which movie to watch, then show a different one. 9.    (Leave lawnmower running in your living room 24 hours a day   for proper          noise level.   Mandatory for ex-engineering types) 10.  Have the paper boy give you a haircut. 11.  Once a week blow compressed air up through your chimney making sure the       wind carries the soot across and on to your neighbor's house. Laugh at him       when he curses you. 12.  Buy a trash compactor and only use it once a week.  Store up garbage in       the other  side of your bathtub. 13.  Wake up every night at midnight and have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich       on stale bread. (Optional: Canned ravioli or cold soup) 14.  Make up your family menu a week ahead of time without looking in your       food cabinets or refrigerator. 15.  Set your alarm clock to go off at random times during the night. When it goes       off,  jump out of bed and get dressed as fast as you can, then run out into       your yard  and break out the garden hose. 16.  Once a month take every major appliance completely apart and then put       them back together. 17.  Use 18 scoops of coffee per pot and allow it to sit for 5 or 6 hours before       drinking. 18.  Invite at least 85 people you don't really like to come and visit for a couple of       months. 19.  Have a fluorescent lamp installed on the bottom of your coffee table and lie       under it to read books. 20.  Raise the thresholds and lower the top sills on your front and back doors to       that you either trip of the threshold or hit your head on the sill every time you       pass  though one of them. 21.  Lockwire the lug nuts on your car. 22.  When making cakes, prop up one side of the pan while it is baking. Then       spread  icing really thick on one side to level off the top. 23.  Every so often, throw your cat into the swimming pool, shout "Man       Overboard  ship recovery!"  Run into the kitchen and sweep all the       pots/pans/dishes off the  counter onto the floor, then yell at your wife for not       having the place "stowed for sea." 24.  Put on the headphone from your stereo (don't plug them in). Go and stand in       front of your stove. Say (to nobody in particular) "Stove manned and ready."       Stand there for 3 or 4 hours. Say (once again to nobody in particular) "Stove       secured."  Roll up the headphone cord and put them away. 25.  Paint your house and roof haze gray… tell your wife it was ordered in the       Plan of the Day.