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Nude Photo
"but i got phone sex to see me through the emptiness in my 501s"
- "Dirty Epic," Underworld
I trace the lines of his body with my finger. The oil from my skin leaves traces of my prints on the photograph. God, we look so young in this picture. Do we still look that young?
I remember the day he took it. He had just gotten his new camera and his folks were out of town. Young and horny, it seemed logical at the time to take a picture of both of us, embracing, naked. Just graduated from high school, real adults now. I stripped for him and he took pictures of that as well, but he has those. He gave this one to me though, just because I liked it so much.
We are smiling, these ridiculous, huge smiles, carefree and almost innocent. It only shows our upper halves, although it's quite clear what's going on. I remember him setting up the camera, trying to get the angle without it falling off the chair, and setting the timer. We hugged, my breasts up against his chest, him pushing into me, as we looked at the camera and grinned like maniacs.
We had sex afterwards, of course. We were already naked, and that was the point of the whole experiment, wasn't it?
"What are you thinking?" he says, his voice coming in distant over the telephone.
"I'm looking at this photo of us," I reply slowly. "The nude one. Were we really ever this young?"
"Well, it was only last year, right?" he answers literally. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
I can almost see his arched eyebrow and smarmy grin.
"I don't think I am," I say. How long has this been going on? Has it been only a year? It seems like so much longer than just last summer.
"Are you sure? Do you remember that day?" he asks, growing more excited by the minute.
"Of course I do."
"Ah, it was a lovely summer night, hot and sweaty, perfect for making love to my hot girlfriend," he reminisces. "And you were hot that night. You wanted me, I could tell. And I had just got that camera - I was going to use it right."
"Yes, I suppose you did."
"And you stripped for me…ah, you stripped for me, oh so slowly, seductively. It was a lovely sight to watch." He sighed and shakes his head. I can't see him, but I know he's doing it - it's just one of those things you pick up when you've talked to someone on the phone as much as we have.
"And then, then, we … we were amazing, my darling. Just amazing, I tell you. You were there, of course, but…" He trails off.
"Yes, I was there, I remember." It does seem more recent now, almost like yesterday. Everything is so screwed up when you don't see each other for weeks, months at a time.
"I should hope. I just remember squeezing your breasts, kissing them, licking them…"
Memories like yesterday, but not who I am now. Not who we are now.
This summer was not last summer. This was the first summer together since we left for college. College - distance - changes so much and so little. The arguments, the irksome traits remained, the passion waned. We fought more and talked less. More cold silences and less hot nights. We were a forty year old couple married for too long.
"And being inside you. Like ecstasy, like nothing else - warm and whole and everything. Mmmmm…."
I sigh deeply. I am too old for my own romance.
He doesn't respond, wrapped up in his own memories and sighs and murmurs.
I hide the photograph away in my bottom desk drawer, underneath the papers and notebooks, and listen to him in silence.
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