What NOT to say to a Law Enforcement Officer
Many people have written books or provided resources on things you should
say
to a police officer after you have been pulled over, so I thought it was
about time
to address the issue from another angle and list the comments that would
be entirely
inappropriate to make during a traffic stop. In doing so, I
can be even more
confident of the outcome than the authors of such books as "Beat the
Cops" and
"A Speeder's Guide to Avoiding Tickets". That is, if you DON'T
use any of the
comments listed below (or any permutation thereof), you are over
99% less likely
to receive a summons than if you DO use them. How's
that for a guarantee??
1. Sir, I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
(OK in Texas)
2. Speeding? Sorry, officer...I didn't realize my radar
detector
wasn't plugged in. My bad!
3. Hey, wait a second...aren't you that guy from the Village People?
4. Wow, officer! You must've been doing at least 125 mph to
keep up with me. Good Job!
5. Are you Andy or Barney?
6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition
to be a police officer?
7. Oh, @#$! - you're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
8. Hey! Take it easy, Mr. Public Servant - I pay your salary!
9. Gee, officer! That's terrific. The other cop this
morning only
gave me a warning, too!
10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Whew!
Okay, just
so long as one of us does.
11. But I was trying to keep up with traffic, Sir. Yes,
I know there
are no other cars around...that's how far ahead
of me they are!
12. Okay, okay...what did the car do this time?
13. Excuse me, Sir...your fly is up. (Women and adventurous men only!)